Grey Moon

[Found among the recovered papers. A single sheet, unsigned, undated.]

I have been awake since it was light. It is dark now. I did not do anything in between.

Nothing is wrong. That is the part. I am not sad. I could write the reasons to get up and they would all be true. I have written them. They are true and they do not start anything.

She is in the next room. I can hear her. She is fine. It does not touch the small ones. She came in and asked me something and I answered and she went away, so I can still do that much. I love her. I know it the way I know my own name. It is a fact, and it is in there, and I am in here, and the two do not reach each other.

I do not want to die but I am looking forward to dying.

I am waiting for the change.